








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2295 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 732 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1147 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1535 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1139 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,053,860 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 539 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 9.freaks4u | Vesslan | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | Wingy | 49% | 144 |
| #6 | NewAtThis | 48% | 159 |
| #7 | COMMIT TAX FRAUD | 48% | 151 |
| #8 | Sorry | 45% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COMMIT TAX FRAUD | 17 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | NewAtThis | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Wingy | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Sorry | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | curren | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COMMIT TAX FRAUD | 718 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #2 | Sorry | 496 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #3 | NewAtThis | 426 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | 9.freaks4u | Vesslan | 135 | 0.32 | 4 min |
| #5 | Wingy | 106 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wingy | +1.81 | 64 | 53 |
| #2 | curren | +1.79 | 69 | 62 |
| #3 | TEDDOPLZ | +0.73 | 78 | 53 |
| #4 | COMMIT TAX FRAUD | +0.07 | 74 | 51 |
| #5 | NewAtThis | -0.29 | 63 | 66 |





