








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1769 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,058 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2507 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3172 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1505 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1874 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $776,999 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TEDDOPLZ | 48% | 159 |
| #2 | Mr.Jones | 47% | 45 |
| #3 | Wingy | 45% | 171 |
| #4 | Sorry | 45% | 147 |
| #5 | curren | 45% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | d00d Ranch | 44% | 25 |
| #8 | eccuC | 44% | 16 |
| #9 | Jay Steez | 43% | 21 |
| #10 | COMMIT TAX FRAUD | 42% | 159 |
| #11 | 9.freaks4u | Vesslan | 35% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TEDDOPLZ | 15 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | COMMIT TAX FRAUD | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Wingy | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Sorry | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | curren | 5 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COMMIT TAX FRAUD | 739 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #2 | Sorry | 696 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #3 | 9.freaks4u | Vesslan | 275 | 0.30 | 8 min |
| #4 | TEDDOPLZ | 174 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | Wingy | 125 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wingy | +1.97 | 64 | 53 |
| #2 | eccuC | +0.59 | 68 | 67 |
| #3 | curren | +0.50 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | TEDDOPLZ | +0.14 | 75 | 56 |
| #5 | NewAtThis | -0.07 | 62 | 65 |





