








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 261 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 285 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3193 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3105 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4188 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4906 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4677 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $683,018 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TEDDOPLZ | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | DeadyThePanda | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | Garfield | 50% | 142 |
| #4 | Beast | 49% | 117 |
| #5 | CruelBiscuit | 48% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Bort | 47% | 30 |
| #8 | Jeugh | 47% | 58 |
| #9 | crimbus | 45% | 67 |
| #10 | Wingy | 41% | 37 |
| #11 | The Insanely Crazy Lunatic | 38% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ジョーンズさん | 10 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Garfield | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Beast | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | crimbus | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | CruelBiscuit | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beast | 515 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | CruelBiscuit | 284 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Garfield | 272 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | ジョーンズさん | 270 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | The Insanely Crazy Lunatic | 216 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wingy | +1.30 | 60 | 38 |
| #2 | curreno | +1.05 | 64 | 59 |
| #3 | Jeugh | +0.41 | 51 | 70 |
| #4 | TEDDOPLZ | +0.41 | 70 | 52 |
| #5 | ジョーンズさん | +0.12 | 36 | 42 |





