








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2458 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,709 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1629 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1441 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1883 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1756 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,242,464 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TEDDOPLZ | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | Wingy | 61% | 33 |
| #3 | COMMIT TAX FRAUD | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | Jeugh | 52% | 42 |
| #5 | d00d Ranch | 47% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | DeadyThePanda | 44% | 45 |
| #9 | Landyn | 44% | 43 |
| #10 | Sorry | 42% | 90 |
| #11 | CruelBiscuit | 41% | 203 |
| #12 | Bort | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CruelBiscuit | 17 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Sorry | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | curren | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | DeadyThePanda | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Landyn | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sorry | 397 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | CruelBiscuit | 371 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | curren | 205 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | DeadyThePanda | 160 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jeugh | 150 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wingy | +2.08 | 67 | 52 |
| #2 | curren | +1.09 | 64 | 66 |
| #3 | Jeugh | +0.31 | 54 | 71 |
| #4 | Landyn | +0.17 | 52 | 52 |
| #5 | Mr.Jones | +0.04 | 42 | 47 |





