








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,612 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2140 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1240 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1573 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1659 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $237,897 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAERHI | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | NoXi | 63% | 43 |
| #3 | Lärvi ♥ Phinis | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | lando | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Maikhole | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dynlo | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | NAERHI | 4 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | SirSandels | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | NoXi | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | El Morty | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dynlo | 322 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | SirSandels | 108 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | NoXi | 92 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | NAERHI | 79 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lärvi ♥ Phinis | 62 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAERHI | +6.52 | 76 | 74 |
| #2 | Dynlo | +3.30 | 68 | 62 |
| #3 | NoXi | +0.50 | 60 | 59 |
| #4 | SirSandels | -0.26 | 57 | 61 |
| #5 | Lärvi ♥ Phinis | -0.79 | 54 | 56 |





