








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
981 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,548 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 858 | 24% |
| Smokes | 498 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 1180 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1012 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $220,220 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 329 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shalu | 93% | 14 |
| #2 | Woody 8964 UwU | 83% | 23 |
| #3 | ඞ | 75% | 12 |
| #4 | c419l4tion | 73% | 63 |
| #5 | z0owater | 71% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | z0owater | 71% | 45 |
| #6 | Shakana | 70% | 10 |
| #7 | Jo7 | 68% | 85 |
| #8 | kur0 | 68% | 77 |
| #9 | Ernest | 63% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kur0 | 11 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Jo7 | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | c419l4tion | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | z0owater | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Ernest | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kur0 | 375 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #2 | Jo7 | 252 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | c419l4tion | 208 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | z0owater | 78 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ernest | 59 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ඞ | +6.46 | 89 | 58 |
| #2 | Jo7 | +4.62 | 76 | 54 |
| #3 | Shalu | +3.16 | 79 | 31 |
| #4 | Ernest | +1.94 | 93 | 17 |
| #5 | kur0 | +1.84 | 90 | 53 |





