








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3682 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,429 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3015 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1401 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 4378 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 1635 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $493,815 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | donnieAR | 49% | 154 |
| #5 | Jzumble | 45% | 193 |
| #6 | Typical BMW Driver | 39% | 33 |
| #7 | Arise Chikun | 37% | 60 |
| #8 | Ettouya | 30% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donnieAR | 31 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | Charlie Kirk | 19 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | Jzumble | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Arise Chikun | 8 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | Ettouya | 7 | 0.0047 |





