








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 562 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 398 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5440 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,861 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4151 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5802 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7379 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 5529 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,543,607 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | Hi its Kiwi | 44% | 84 |
| #17 | Monster | 42% | 38 |
| #18 | i need a Hīrō ヒーロー | 42% | 48 |
| #19 | just.ED ♡ | 40% | 40 |
| #20 | Speed | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 30yoTALENT | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | soLdeC | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | ✪ Struitx | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Crankill | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | AK | 4 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mickey シ | 616 | 0.48 | 19 min |
| #2 | 30yoTALENT | 359 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | qbX^ | 301 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | soLdeC | 298 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #5 | Crankill | 251 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mickey シ | +5.02 | 94 | 87 |
| #2 | ✪ Yaska_ | +2.36 | 86 | 72 |
| #3 | qbX^ | +1.84 | 84 | 69 |
| #4 | ✦ rezzi | +1.35 | 66 | 44 |
| #5 | Gurk 42 | +1.26 | 73 | 67 |





