








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 607 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 482 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5370 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,020 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7026 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5338 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5191 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5465 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,028,496 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1832 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crankill | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | Gurk 42 | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | RevaX cs.money | 57% | 117 |
| #4 | ✪ Yaska_ | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | Speed | 54% | 256 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Speed | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | RevaX cs.money | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | 30yoTALENT | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Nörte | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Crankill | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Speed | 681 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #2 | 30yoTALENT | 171 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Crankill | 121 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Gurk 42 | 118 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | Nörte | 114 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Yaska_ | +2.72 | 79 | 68 |
| #2 | Gurk 42 | +0.75 | 68 | 72 |
| #3 | soLdeC | +0.59 | 67 | 70 |
| #4 | Speed | +0.31 | 79 | 61 |
| #5 | Crankill | +0.28 | 67 | 66 |





