








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 583 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 495 matches | ||
| Wingman | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6606 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,727 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7071 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6331 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5742 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4583 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,227,434 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qbX^ | 52% | 309 |
| #2 | just.ED ♡ | 50% | 202 |
| #3 | FLOURiSH | 46% | 238 |
| #4 | i need a Hīrō ヒーロー | 46% | 235 |
| #5 | Nörte | 44% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qbX^ | 52% | 309 |
| #2 | just.ED ♡ | 50% | 202 |
| #3 | FLOURiSH | 46% | 238 |
| #4 | i need a Hīrō ヒーロー | 46% | 235 |
| #5 | Nörte | 44% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | just.ED ♡ | 13 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | qbX^ | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | i need a Hīrō ヒーロー | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | FLOURiSH | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Nörte | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qbX^ | 1296 | 0.20 | 28 min |
| #2 | i need a Hīrō ヒーロー | 540 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | just.ED ♡ | 358 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | Nörte | 114 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | FLOURiSH | 107 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qbX^ | +2.86 | 84 | 69 |
| #2 | Hi its Kiwi | +0.93 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | FLOURiSH | -0.16 | 73 | 48 |
| #4 | just.ED ♡ | -0.32 | 82 | 59 |
| #5 | Nörte | -0.83 | 78 | 70 |





