








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 835 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 277 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4721 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,644 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6215 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5200 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5282 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3947 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,171,560 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 897 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | cdiixon | 52% | 262 |
| #8 | Cat_Petter15 | 52% | 124 |
| #9 | BIG_gunner32 | 51% | 184 |
| #10 | bo0m | 50% | 48 |
| #11 | Krypton-tbp- | 31% | 29 |





