








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 542 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,320 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2591 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3066 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4207 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2456 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,183,494 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 918 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Control_taker98 | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | cdiixon | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | BIG_gunner32 | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | ✪ Alphite | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | wheeler- | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Control_taker98 | 809 | 0.24 | 23 min |
| #2 | wheeler- | 416 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | BIG_gunner32 | 403 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | ✪ Alphite | 328 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #5 | cdiixon | 280 | 0.06 | 6 min |





