








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 591 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3231 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,608 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 953 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1191 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1638 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 826 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $827,520 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Krypton-tbp- | 52% | 21 |
| #6 | BIG_gunner32 | 49% | 83 |
| #7 | cdiixon | 48% | 121 |
| #8 | Cat_Petter15 | 45% | 113 |
| #9 | Swagohod | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Control_taker98 | 454 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #2 | wheeler- | 274 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | BIG_gunner32 | 215 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | ✪ Alphite | 209 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | cdiixon | 196 | 0.08 | 4 min |





