








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 176 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1772 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2078 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1601 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2237 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $549,749 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laddr | 69% | 55 |
| #2 | Ourob_ | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | Xtamon | 63% | 40 |
| #4 | Xais_ | 61% | 154 |
| #5 | Adam|Stroud | 59% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Xtamon | 63% | 40 |
| #4 | Xais_ | 61% | 154 |
| #5 | Adam|Stroud | 59% | 188 |
| #6 | rai | 58% | 141 |
| #7 | jayisvexed | 55% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xais_ | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Adam|Stroud | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Laddr | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | rai | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Xtamon | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adam|Stroud | 740 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | Xais_ | 558 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | rai | 483 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #4 | jayisvexed | 233 | 0.36 | 5 min |
| #5 | Laddr | 218 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ourob_ | +1.52 | 82 | 62 |
| #2 | Xtamon | +1.51 | 79 | 61 |
| #3 | Xais_ | +1.28 | 87 | 69 |
| #4 | rai | +0.87 | 82 | 64 |
| #5 | uwuan | +0.69 | 77 | 65 |





