








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
470 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,049 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 963 | 32% |
| Smokes | 765 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 464 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 857 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $80,689 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jayisvexed | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Xais_ | 71% | 49 |
| #3 | uwuan | 69% | 55 |
| #4 | rai | 68% | 56 |
| #5 | Adam|Stroud | 67% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Xais_ | 71% | 49 |
| #3 | uwuan | 69% | 55 |
| #4 | rai | 68% | 56 |
| #5 | Adam|Stroud | 67% | 58 |
| #6 | Ourob_ | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xais_ | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Adam|Stroud | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | uwuan | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adam|Stroud | 195 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Xais_ | 157 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | rai | 144 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | uwuan | 129 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | jayisvexed | 34 | 0.38 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jayisvexed | +2.39 | 92 | 79 |
| #2 | Ourob_ | +1.65 | 86 | 56 |
| #3 | Xais_ | +1.55 | 85 | 67 |
| #4 | rai | +1.31 | 79 | 63 |
| #5 | uwuan | +1.16 | 81 | 64 |





