








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4917 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,032 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3836 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2853 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1840 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1503 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,029,768 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uwuan | 63% | 40 |
| #2 | yak | 59% | 82 |
| #3 | Bread pitt | 59% | 82 |
| #4 | Xais_ | 55% | 60 |
| #5 | wood | 54% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | SterbenFear | 51% | 248 |
| #10 | rai | 49% | 75 |
| #11 | Positive Mindset Gaming | 49% | 262 |
| #12 | Ewanbb | 49% | 110 |
| #13 | aory | 38% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SterbenFear | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Positive Mindset Gaming | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | aory | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Bread pitt | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | yak | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SterbenFear | 512 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | Ewanbb | 379 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | yak | 355 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #4 | Adam|Stroud | 311 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #5 | rai | 285 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xtamon | +4.33 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | yak | +2.10 | 45 | 72 |
| #3 | wood | +1.58 | 71 | 54 |
| #4 | rai | +0.89 | 88 | 64 |
| #5 | uwuan | +0.72 | 74 | 64 |





