








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 268 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3436 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3643 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4291 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2096 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3613 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $740,460 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laddr | 67% | 58 |
| #2 | Ourob_ | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | uwuan | 59% | 188 |
| #4 | Xais_ | 57% | 208 |
| #5 | rai | 54% | 206 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | uwuan | 59% | 188 |
| #4 | Xais_ | 57% | 208 |
| #5 | rai | 54% | 206 |
| #6 | Noname | 52% | 29 |
| #7 | Xtamon | 51% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uwuan | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Xais_ | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | rai | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Laddr | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Xtamon | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xais_ | 805 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #2 | rai | 728 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #3 | uwuan | 509 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #4 | Laddr | 250 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | Noname | 226 | 0.35 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ourob_ | +1.56 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | Xais_ | +1.04 | 87 | 68 |
| #3 | rai | +0.81 | 83 | 64 |
| #4 | Xtamon | +0.79 | 81 | 60 |
| #5 | uwuan | +0.57 | 77 | 65 |





