








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 404 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 535 matches | ||
| Faceit | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10288 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,701 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10958 | 28% |
| Smokes | 9376 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 11057 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 8310 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,298,301 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mike | 57% | 161 |
| #2 | niiik^-^ | 55% | 65 |
| #3 | xHerbinatorx | 55% | 136 |
| #4 | TheseNuts | 54% | 169 |
| #5 | Not that guy | 53% | 364 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Not that guy | 53% | 364 |
| #6 | Heaven | 52% | 135 |
| #7 | Towby | 52% | 342 |
| #8 | inFecTed | 51% | 437 |
| #9 | ☂ Umbrella | 38% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | inFecTed | 25 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Not that guy | 22 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | TheseNuts | 19 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Towby | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | mike | 7 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not that guy | 934 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #2 | Towby | 707 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #3 | mike | 358 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | inFecTed | 347 | 0.04 | 10 min |
| #5 | TheseNuts | 298 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☁ cLoudy | +1.92 | 77 | 77 |
| #2 | Towby | +1.00 | 78 | 68 |
| #3 | mike | +0.95 | 78 | 61 |
| #4 | Not that guy | +0.90 | 79 | 61 |
| #5 | TheseNuts | -0.07 | 80 | 56 |





