








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 653 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 474 matches | ||
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,168 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4983 | 19% |
| Smokes | 7795 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 7864 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5526 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,933,108 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heaven | 53% | 147 |
| #2 | Not that guy | 52% | 456 |
| #3 | ☁ cLoudy | 52% | 342 |
| #4 | niiik^-^ | 50% | 40 |
| #5 | mike | 50% | 224 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | niiik^-^ | 50% | 40 |
| #5 | mike | 50% | 224 |
| #6 | inFecTed | 48% | 412 |
| #7 | ☂ Umbrella | 44% | 77 |
| #8 | TheseNuts | 36% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not that guy | 28 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | inFecTed | 19 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | ☁ cLoudy | 17 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | mike | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Heaven | 10 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Not that guy | 1154 | 0.12 | 26 min |
| #2 | ☁ cLoudy | 1078 | 0.15 | 30 min |
| #3 | mike | 447 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | Heaven | 336 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | inFecTed | 254 | 0.03 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Towby | +1.22 | 78 | 69 |
| #2 | ☁ cLoudy | +1.17 | 77 | 79 |
| #3 | Not that guy | +0.84 | 78 | 64 |
| #4 | mike | +0.45 | 78 | 60 |
| #5 | Heaven | -0.57 | 65 | 66 |





