








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 686 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 546 matches | ||
| Faceit | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8693 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,163 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6960 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5880 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 9968 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 7355 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,183,647 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 533 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heaven | 54% | 114 |
| #2 | ☁ cLoudy | 53% | 364 |
| #3 | niiik^-^ | 52% | 42 |
| #4 | Towby | 52% | 456 |
| #5 | mike | 52% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | niiik^-^ | 52% | 42 |
| #4 | Towby | 52% | 456 |
| #5 | mike | 52% | 174 |
| #6 | inFecTed | 50% | 398 |
| #7 | ☂ Umbrella | 46% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | inFecTed | 26 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | ☁ cLoudy | 21 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | mike | 12 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Towby | 9 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Heaven | 6 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Towby | 1219 | 0.12 | 36 min |
| #2 | ☁ cLoudy | 1162 | 0.15 | 32 min |
| #3 | mike | 381 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | inFecTed | 286 | 0.03 | 8 min |
| #5 | Heaven | 279 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☁ cLoudy | +1.48 | 76 | 79 |
| #2 | Towby | +0.98 | 76 | 70 |
| #3 | Not that guy | +0.88 | 77 | 63 |
| #4 | mike | +0.34 | 77 | 58 |
| #5 | Heaven | -0.71 | 66 | 67 |





