








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 702 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 271 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2411 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2319 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3195 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3909 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3917 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,217,319 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheseNuts | 62% | 47 |
| #2 | cLoudy | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | ☁ cLoudy | 55% | 136 |
| #4 | inFecTed | 50% | 54 |
| #5 | Citru$$ | 49% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☁ cLoudy | 21 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Iamspecial | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | TheseNuts | 10 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | Citru$$ | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | cLoudy | 5 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☁ cLoudy | 374 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | Citru$$ | 216 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | TheseNuts | 106 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | cLoudy | 91 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Not that guy | 65 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cLoudy | +6.15 | 88 | 73 |
| #2 | ☁ cLoudy | +4.15 | 83 | 71 |
| #3 | TheseNuts | +3.16 | 85 | 57 |
| #4 | Not that guy | +2.39 | 85 | 49 |
| #5 | inFecTed | +1.32 | 80 | 44 |





