








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2150 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,059 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1267 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1267 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1247 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 278 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $925,668 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | la tete dans lcul | 58% | 57 |
| #2 | Cryp3r | 57% | 81 |
| #3 | Touch my tralala | 44% | 52 |
| #4 | Mangecouilles | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | la tete dans lcul | 58% | 57 |
| #2 | Cryp3r | 57% | 81 |
| #3 | Touch my tralala | 44% | 52 |
| #4 | Mangecouilles | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Touch my tralala | 17 | 0.0170 |
| #2 | Cryp3r | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | la tete dans lcul | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Mangecouilles | 3 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cryp3r | 259 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | la tete dans lcul | 237 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Mangecouilles | 168 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #4 | Touch my tralala | 74 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | la tete dans lcul | +3.84 | 80 | 60 |
| #2 | Mangecouilles | +3.31 | 76 | 54 |
| #3 | Cryp3r | +1.18 | 72 | 67 |
| #4 | Touch my tralala | -0.68 | 64 | 50 |
| #5 | ✪ フリーゼア | -1.52 | 61 | 39 |





