








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1092 | 38% |
| Smokes | 748 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 507 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 527 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $232,350 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChabryZePro | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | DooBie_Doo | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | Cryp3r | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | Touch my tralala | 59% | 29 |
| #5 | ✪ フリーゼア | 58% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | poufpafpif | 50% | 20 |
| #7 | ouiiii | 45% | 22 |
| #8 | BUZZ Lightkid | 44% | 9 |
| #9 | bob | 42% | 12 |
| #10 | Diam's | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ouiiii | 16 | 0.0371 |
| #2 | poufpafpif | 14 | 0.0347 |
| #3 | Touch my tralala | 11 | 0.0197 |
| #4 | ✪ フリーゼア | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Diam's | 4 | 0.0142 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | poufpafpif | 126 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #2 | ✪ フリーゼア | 79 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Cryp3r | 79 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | ouiiii | 60 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Touch my tralala | 51 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | la tete dans lcul | +3.05 | 69 | 54 |
| #2 | ouiiii | +2.59 | 63 | 22 |
| #3 | bob | +1.91 | 86 | 48 |
| #4 | Diam's | +1.21 | 79 | 45 |
| #5 | BUZZ Lightkid | +0.93 | 65 | 62 |





