








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 660 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 155 matches | ||
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




166 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10293 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,963 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8378 | 31% |
| Smokes | 8344 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3630 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 6611 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,093,841 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | garfield | 65% | 102 |
| #2 | 2017 Chevrolet Bolt | 65% | 48 |
| #3 | CABLE-TV-ENJOYER-42 | 61% | 175 |
| #4 | hoLezz | 57% | 154 |
| #5 | ✪ Bruhdy | 53% | 507 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Bubs | 51% | 345 |
| #9 | 🏹 plxw | 49% | 306 |
| #10 | bungis | 48% | 143 |
| #11 | ⚜︎ XyMcFly | 46% | 165 |
| #12 | Ranch Dubois | 46% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Bruhdy | 81 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | bungis | 47 | 0.0171 |
| #3 | Bubs | 36 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | hoLezz | 36 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | joshiiwa | 21 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Bruhdy | 2079 | 0.20 | 56 min |
| #2 | 🏹 plxw | 1097 | 0.18 | 27 min |
| #3 | CABLE-TV-ENJOYER-42 | 791 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| #4 | Bubs | 762 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #5 | joshiiwa | 653 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CABLE-TV-ENJOYER-42 | +3.32 | 87 | 72 |
| #2 | Demon | +1.65 | 80 | 63 |
| #3 | 2017 Chevrolet Bolt | +1.63 | 73 | 68 |
| #4 | garfield | +1.47 | 81 | 61 |
| #5 | Bubs | +0.91 | 69 | 67 |





