








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 437 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 323 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5031 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,032 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5945 | 37% |
| Smokes | 4525 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 989 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 4573 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,746,800 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 444 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | JackFlicks | 49% | 93 |
| #7 | Optimum Pride | 49% | 41 |
| #8 | UltraReady4201337 | 48% | 157 |
| #9 | HIGHEST IN THE ROOM | 38% | 69 |
| #10 | Bronson10k | 33% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʙᴜʜɢꜱᴜᴋ ♱ | 31 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | bakerman(the greg) | 15 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | ThiccMi | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Spec | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | UltraReady4201337 | 7 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bakerman(the greg) | 1777 | 0.33 | 44 min |
| #2 | ThiccMi | 813 | 0.30 | 20 min |
| #3 | UltraReady4201337 | 490 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | ʙᴜʜɢꜱᴜᴋ ♱ | 487 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #5 | HIGHEST IN THE ROOM | 299 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʙᴜʜɢꜱᴜᴋ ♱ | +4.10 | 80 | 61 |
| #2 | bakerman(the greg) | +1.68 | 71 | 67 |
| #3 | ThiccMi | +0.94 | 76 | 59 |
| #4 | UltraReady4201337 | +0.55 | 50 | 66 |
| #5 | hoon | +0.18 | 61 | 68 |





