










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 342 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3673 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,389 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2732 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3280 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3262 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3115 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $839,576 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 848 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WILDPAULOAPPEARS | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | bakerman(the greg) | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | BMW peek | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | UltraReady4201337 | 54% | 140 |
| #5 | Dolmio Day | 52% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hoon | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Dolmio Day | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | bakerman(the greg) | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Optimum Pride | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | UltraReady4201337 | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UltraReady4201337 | 427 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | hoon | 338 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | Dolmio Day | 185 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | bakerman(the greg) | 140 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #5 | WILDPAULOAPPEARS | 58 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bakerman(the greg) | +2.66 | 78 | 72 |
| #2 | UltraReady4201337 | +1.83 | 55 | 66 |
| #3 | hoon | +1.40 | 67 | 71 |
| #4 | WILDPAULOAPPEARS | +1.31 | 62 | 66 |
| #5 | Spec | -0.30 | 64 | 53 |





