








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 413 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3012 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,468 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4383 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3799 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1312 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1974 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $549,403 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 631 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | jOE | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | JackFlicks | 54% | 114 |
| #6 | IAmIs | 53% | 15 |
| #7 | hoon | 53% | 130 |
| #8 | Dad Skills | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʙᴜʜɢꜱᴜᴋ ♱ | 27 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | hoon | 18 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | bakerman(the greg) | 17 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | JackFlicks | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | jOE | 6 | 0.0133 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bakerman(the greg) | 1635 | 0.32 | 40 min |
| #2 | hoon | 672 | 0.25 | 18 min |
| #3 | ʙᴜʜɢꜱᴜᴋ ♱ | 481 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #4 | JackFlicks | 303 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #5 | jOE | 80 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʙᴜʜɢꜱᴜᴋ ♱ | +4.00 | 80 | 61 |
| #2 | bakerman(the greg) | +1.44 | 71 | 66 |
| #3 | ThiccMi | +0.91 | 79 | 59 |
| #4 | jOE | +0.52 | 73 | 61 |
| #5 | IAmIs | +0.00 | 54 | 50 |





