








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2729 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2567 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2100 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2377 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2169 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $713,728 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʙᴜʜɢꜱᴜᴋ ♱ | 63% | 142 |
| #2 | IAmIs | 58% | 38 |
| #3 | bakerman(the greg) | 57% | 260 |
| #4 | ThiccMi | 54% | 114 |
| #5 | hoon | 49% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | IAmIs | 58% | 38 |
| #3 | bakerman(the greg) | 57% | 260 |
| #4 | ThiccMi | 54% | 114 |
| #5 | hoon | 49% | 93 |
| #6 | Dad Skills | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʙᴜʜɢꜱᴜᴋ ♱ | 36 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | bakerman(the greg) | 17 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | ThiccMi | 11 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | hoon | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | IAmIs | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bakerman(the greg) | 1560 | 0.30 | 39 min |
| #2 | ThiccMi | 713 | 0.31 | 18 min |
| #3 | hoon | 459 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #4 | ʙᴜʜɢꜱᴜᴋ ♱ | 409 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #5 | IAmIs | 100 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʙᴜʜɢꜱᴜᴋ ♱ | +4.17 | 83 | 59 |
| #2 | bakerman(the greg) | +1.41 | 73 | 63 |
| #3 | ThiccMi | +1.18 | 81 | 58 |
| #4 | IAmIs | +0.43 | 55 | 44 |
| #5 | JackFlicks | -0.43 | 60 | 63 |





