








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,309 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7174 | 44% |
| Smokes | 3211 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3159 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2765 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,559,092 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noxin | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | Farter | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | RyRy | 50% | 233 |
| #4 | Tugg Speedman | 48% | 54 |
| #5 | 214 | 47% | 341 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Lectrashave | 46% | 186 |
| #7 | raid | 46% | 158 |
| #8 | wdR | 45% | 73 |
| #9 | detrho | 39% | 28 |
| #10 | RexCakex | 35% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 214 | 53 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | RyRy | 28 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Lectrashave | 19 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | raid | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Tugg Speedman | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 214 | 2590 | 0.37 | 52 min |
| #2 | RyRy | 595 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | raid | 474 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #4 | Lectrashave | 262 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | Farter | 155 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | noxin | +3.34 | 84 | 56 |
| #2 | Tugg Speedman | +1.44 | 89 | 59 |
| #3 | Hank the Tank | +1.38 | 70 | 55 |
| #4 | Farter | +1.01 | 65 | 58 |
| #5 | 214 | +0.85 | 38 | 68 |





