








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 226 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2732 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,660 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8134 | 49% |
| Smokes | 2059 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 2992 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3475 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $242,455 of utility $31 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haunt | 59% | 41 |
| #2 | 999 | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | ✿ Jewel ✿ | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | pvc.pipe | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | TK Jared | 44% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haunt | 59% | 41 |
| #2 | 999 | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | ✿ Jewel ✿ | 55% | 38 |
| #4 | pvc.pipe | 47% | 30 |
| #5 | TK Jared | 44% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✿ Jewel ✿ | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | pvc.pipe | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | TK Jared | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Haunt | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✿ Jewel ✿ | 353 | 0.47 | 9 min |
| #2 | 999 | 114 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | TK Jared | 104 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | pvc.pipe | 57 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Haunt | 53 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TK Jared | +5.11 | 76 | 57 |
| #2 | 999 | +2.68 | 67 | 61 |
| #3 | Haunt | +2.45 | 64 | 40 |
| #4 | ✿ Jewel ✿ | +2.21 | 79 | 69 |
| #5 | pvc.pipe | -0.26 | 52 | 44 |





