








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 741 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 420 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,511 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5022 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5537 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3341 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4611 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,516,984 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 732 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✿ Jewel ✿ | 57% | 92 |
| #2 | F82 | 53% | 74 |
| #3 | Shlert | 52% | 46 |
| #4 | JZH | 52% | 60 |
| #5 | Senna | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | JZH | 52% | 60 |
| #5 | Senna | 51% | 39 |
| #6 | ᄃᄂV7ᄃΉ | 44% | 63 |
| #7 | goji4ever | 43% | 135 |
| #8 | Jacek | 42% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F82 | 9 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | ✿ Jewel ✿ | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | goji4ever | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | JZH | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | ᄃᄂV7ᄃΉ | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✿ Jewel ✿ | 792 | 0.43 | 18 min |
| #2 | goji4ever | 581 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #3 | ᄃᄂV7ᄃΉ | 344 | 0.28 | 9 min |
| #4 | F82 | 338 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #5 | JZH | 228 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TK Jared | +2.93 | 71 | 56 |
| #2 | JZH | +1.35 | 67 | 72 |
| #3 | ✿ Jewel ✿ | +0.48 | 78 | 67 |
| #4 | Senna | -0.57 | 63 | 73 |
| #5 | F82 | -0.70 | 74 | 58 |





