








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 220 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3496 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,791 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1900 | 16% |
| Smokes | 4533 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 3279 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2079 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,274,021 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PengBang | 53% | 34 |
| #2 | nastY ♥ | 53% | 51 |
| #3 | fICHTAR | 52% | 241 |
| #4 | felixG | 50% | 262 |
| #5 | BROCONUT | 49% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ConAction#Ping4Life <3 | 47% | 72 |
| #9 | Das Tier | 46% | 113 |
| #10 | D4VID0 | 46% | 135 |
| #11 | jns | 42% | 97 |
| #12 | micha` | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ahrens | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | felixG | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Das Tier | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | D4VID0 | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | ConAction#Ping4Life <3 | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ahrens | 1114 | 0.18 | 28 min |
| #2 | fICHTAR | 472 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | Das Tier | 258 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | felixG | 217 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #5 | nastY ♥ | 183 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ConAction#Ping4Life <3 | +3.48 | 66 | 62 |
| #2 | nastY ♥ | +2.21 | 77 | 71 |
| #3 | micha` | +1.54 | 79 | 67 |
| #4 | fICHTAR | +0.68 | 62 | 56 |
| #5 | skunkner | +0.52 | 65 | 59 |





