








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1771 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2928 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2480 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2655 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1327 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $964,800 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mlody sarmata | 54% | 59 |
| #2 | jose arcadio morales | 51% | 43 |
| #3 | K!sio | 51% | 133 |
| #4 | nie ma yoya w domu | 51% | 87 |
| #5 | Klarafa | 48% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurośmiornica | 13 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | K!sio | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | nie ma yoya w domu | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Klarafa | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | mlody sarmata | 4 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nie ma yoya w domu | 314 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | K!sio | 275 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | Kurośmiornica | 274 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Klarafa | 133 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | mlody sarmata | 123 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tajmon23 | +4.99 | 89 | 68 |
| #2 | Klarafa | +0.93 | 63 | 57 |
| #3 | jose arcadio morales | +0.67 | 69 | 62 |
| #4 | osiemano | +0.45 | 63 | 55 |
| #5 | K!sio | +0.13 | 44 | 58 |





