








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 460 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3179 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,279 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3431 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3717 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3164 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2967 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,384,915 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 541 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mlody sarmata | 58% | 79 |
| #2 | schyeah | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | nie ma yoya w domu | 57% | 77 |
| #4 | K!sio | 56% | 116 |
| #5 | HeroinOverdose | 54% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | marcinek_zlb | 48% | 40 |
| #13 | sava | 46% | 39 |
| #14 | BRUDNY BŁAŻEJ | 46% | 96 |
| #15 | NajPux | 46% | 103 |
| #16 | Borish | 45% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeroinOverdose | 11 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | Kurośmiornica | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | K!sio | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | nie ma yoya w domu | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | NajPux | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nie ma yoya w domu | 349 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | K!sio | 288 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | Kurośmiornica | 239 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | mlody sarmata | 196 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | GRZĄSKI GRZEŚ | 158 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NajPux | +2.04 | 74 | 69 |
| #2 | sava | +1.58 | 64 | 63 |
| #3 | WOJTAS | +1.27 | 61 | 75 |
| #4 | schyeah | +0.98 | 66 | 49 |
| #5 | HeroinOverdose | +0.93 | 85 | 49 |





