








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 110 matches | ||
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2934 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,690 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2668 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3084 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2866 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3072 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $833,803 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kepa(kko?) | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | teukka | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | Meluksli | 63% | 70 |
| #4 | Niemisto | 58% | 119 |
| #5 | pigm8 | 58% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | pigm8 | 58% | 102 |
| #6 | meistern | 58% | 211 |
| #7 | jarpez | 58% | 45 |
| #8 | e m m e (<3) | 57% | 228 |
| #9 | Hamtaro | 57% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e m m e (<3) | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Niemisto | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | meistern | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e m m e (<3) | 746 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #2 | meistern | 608 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #3 | pigm8 | 292 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Niemisto | 202 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Meluksli | 194 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meluksli | +2.91 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | meistern | +2.03 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | pigm8 | +1.13 | 85 | 55 |
| #4 | RAAKA-Arska | +0.17 | 79 | 63 |
| #5 | jarpez | +0.09 | 71 | 63 |





