








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 223 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2246 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1272 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1573 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1088 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2421 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,029,003 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teukka | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | Kepa(kko?) | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | meistern | 59% | 153 |
| #4 | RAAKA-Arska | 58% | 119 |
| #5 | pigm8 | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | pigm8 | 56% | 25 |
| #6 | Hamtaro | 56% | 36 |
| #7 | e m m e (<3) | 55% | 136 |
| #8 | sphiNx | 50% | 20 |
| #9 | Sushi | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e m m e (<3) | 14 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | meistern | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | RAAKA-Arska | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Sushi | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Kepa(kko?) | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e m m e (<3) | 450 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | meistern | 425 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | RAAKA-Arska | 346 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Hamtaro | 91 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kepa(kko?) | 89 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meistern | +2.64 | 85 | 65 |
| #2 | pigm8 | +1.89 | 84 | 52 |
| #3 | RAAKA-Arska | +1.56 | 79 | 61 |
| #4 | e m m e (<3) | -0.10 | 78 | 54 |
| #5 | Niemisto | -0.92 | 56 | 46 |





