








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
697 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,770 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 267 | 10% |
| Smokes | 656 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1070 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 777 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $432,426 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D R A G O N | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | Plain Lane | 40% | 95 |
| #3 | BOT Sadwater | 38% | 29 |
| #4 | ItFeelsGoodMan | 38% | 74 |
| #5 | Comrade Crisp | 37% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ST3 Vex♛ | 35% | 17 |
| #7 | Goldmonk84 | 35% | 46 |
| #8 | Zuke | 32% | 131 |
| #9 | JustChillBro | 27% | 15 |
| #10 | Real Donald J. Trump | 24% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Comrade Crisp | 16 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Zuke | 11 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Goldmonk84 | 9 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | Plain Lane | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | ItFeelsGoodMan | 6 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zuke | 293 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Comrade Crisp | 122 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Goldmonk84 | 98 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Plain Lane | 72 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | D R A G O N | 54 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ST3 Vex♛ | +7.84 | 61 | 60 |
| #2 | D R A G O N | +4.83 | 63 | 56 |
| #3 | Plain Lane | +3.97 | 57 | 32 |
| #4 | BOT Sadwater | +2.52 | 48 | 11 |
| #5 | ItFeelsGoodMan | +0.97 | 18 | 33 |





