








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 261 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 78 matches | ||
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




184 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6869 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,728 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10545 | 37% |
| Smokes | 9824 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4092 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4267 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,247,865 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1762 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Garlic Joe | 48% | 590 |
| #2 | KTNBOTP | 47% | 803 |
| #3 | McNutt♛ | 46% | 200 |
| #4 | DRΛGON | 45% | 119 |
| #5 | Chief Beer | 45% | 682 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Chief Beer | 45% | 682 |
| #6 | Real Donald J. Trump | 42% | 418 |
| #7 | Sadwater | 42% | 126 |
| #8 | Goldmonk84 | 41% | 112 |
| #9 | glawren | 32% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chief Beer | 107 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | KTNBOTP | 95 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Garlic Joe | 58 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | Real Donald J. Trump | 24 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | McNutt♛ | 16 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KTNBOTP | 731 | 0.05 | 16 min |
| #2 | Chief Beer | 496 | 0.04 | 11 min |
| #3 | McNutt♛ | 474 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #4 | Goldmonk84 | 331 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | DRΛGON | 312 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McNutt♛ | +7.37 | 61 | 54 |
| #2 | DRΛGON | +4.50 | 51 | 61 |
| #3 | Chief Beer | +2.70 | 51 | 29 |
| #4 | Sadwater | +1.59 | 50 | 6 |
| #5 | KTNBOTP | +0.36 | 39 | 46 |





