








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 479 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3497 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,907 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3065 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3038 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4850 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2954 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $536,041 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 501 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WastedApple | 49% | 197 |
| #2 | Dr. Genghis Egad | 47% | 159 |
| #3 | ○ Skapoodle ○ | 46% | 219 |
| #4 | ZER0 | 41% | 139 |
| #5 | GingerHasAle | 39% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ○ Skapoodle ○ | 31 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | WastedApple | 21 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Dr. Genghis Egad | 14 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | GingerHasAle | 12 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | ZER0 | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ○ Skapoodle ○ | 413 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | WastedApple | 268 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | ZER0 | 258 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Dr. Genghis Egad | 157 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | mofa | 58 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Masturbake | +6.17 | 79 | 78 |
| #2 | ○ Skapoodle ○ | +0.61 | 51 | 41 |
| #3 | WastedApple | -0.45 | 62 | 42 |
| #4 | Dr. Genghis Egad | -1.11 | 34 | 46 |
| #5 | mofa | -4.87 | 11 | 25 |





