








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 679 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




101 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7722 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,391 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10265 | 28% |
| Smokes | 8799 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 9095 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 8232 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,711,524 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1675 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1 | 8 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Lito | 6 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | C6Z06 | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Sasha Touille | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | RoseX | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C6Z06 | 246 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | s1 | 193 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | Sasha Touille | 118 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | RoseX | 107 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | CVjunior | 77 | 0.09 | 2 min |





