








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 214 matches | ||
| Wingman | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5040 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,376 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3021 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3455 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3045 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3855 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $723,206 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voltage | 84% | 44 |
| #2 | becker | 83% | 30 |
| #3 | Snakes | 81% | 53 |
| #4 | djay | 80% | 92 |
| #5 | BiNoX | 77% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | lou | 70% | 94 |
| #8 | jcr | 63% | 176 |
| #9 | Nabeep Nworb | 62% | 45 |
| #10 | Sketchy_Canadian | 61% | 33 |
| #11 | CRACKADDICT22 | 50% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | djay | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Snakes | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | BiNoX | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Nabeep Nworb | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | CRACKADDICT22 | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | djay | 408 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | jcr | 312 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | lou | 308 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | BiNoX | 213 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #5 | Voltage | 172 | 0.20 | 4 min |





