








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 294 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 354 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3325 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,690 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2546 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3965 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4879 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3300 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $749,174 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vespi | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | Bombardino Crocodilo | 54% | 168 |
| #3 | N3xxoR | 50% | 107 |
| #4 | Hugo Boss | 50% | 373 |
| #5 | Gustavo FRizz | 49% | 235 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | N3xxoR | 50% | 107 |
| #4 | Hugo Boss | 50% | 373 |
| #5 | Gustavo FRizz | 49% | 235 |
| #6 | The Buday | 44% | 75 |
| #7 | Abra Kebabra | 29% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hugo Boss | 17 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Bombardino Crocodilo | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | N3xxoR | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Gustavo FRizz | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | The Buday | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N3xxoR | 304 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | Hugo Boss | 239 | 0.03 | 7 min |
| #3 | The Buday | 234 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Gustavo FRizz | 224 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Bombardino Crocodilo | 157 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hugo Boss | +2.50 | 64 | 46 |
| #2 | N3xxoR | +0.90 | 76 | 63 |
| #3 | Gustavo FRizz | -0.61 | 52 | 46 |
| #4 | Vespi | -0.79 | 42 | 66 |
| #5 | Bombardino Crocodilo | -0.90 | 46 | 57 |





