








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 613 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 565 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4007 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,895 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5590 | 19% |
| Smokes | 9619 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 6403 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7283 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,449,013 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N3xxoR | 54% | 174 |
| #2 | Gustavo FRizz | 51% | 264 |
| #3 | Hugo Boss | 50% | 428 |
| #4 | Bombardino Crocodilo | 49% | 162 |
| #5 | Levifhajfdlaéj | 48% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ✞ G | 47% | 34 |
| #7 | mate01 | 44% | 93 |
| #8 | Rahim Asaf | 44% | 75 |
| #9 | Sajtospogi | 42% | 100 |
| #10 | minotru | 41% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N3xxoR | 16 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Hugo Boss | 13 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Bombardino Crocodilo | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Gustavo FRizz | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Levifhajfdlaéj | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N3xxoR | 507 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | Gustavo FRizz | 307 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | Hugo Boss | 280 | 0.03 | 9 min |
| #4 | Levifhajfdlaéj | 212 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Bombardino Crocodilo | 195 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hugo Boss | +1.82 | 66 | 50 |
| #2 | Levifhajfdlaéj | +1.75 | 54 | 56 |
| #3 | ✞ G | +1.53 | 54 | 51 |
| #4 | N3xxoR | +0.64 | 69 | 66 |
| #5 | mate01 | -0.15 | 31 | 50 |





