








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 563 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 596 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4304 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,614 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4195 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6138 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3645 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3636 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,780,139 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1022 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spinney | 57% | 65 |
| #2 | Meijo | 53% | 57 |
| #3 | CommanderCat | 51% | 63 |
| #4 | TheManInBlack [Gucci] | 50% | 439 |
| #5 | [CygaPb] RoadRunner | 49% | 420 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | [CygaPb] RoadRunner | 49% | 420 |
| #6 | V-O-V | 48% | 551 |
| #7 | Steeno | 47% | 333 |
| #8 | Meijoo | 44% | 45 |
| #9 | Nombers | 38% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheManInBlack [Gucci] | 22 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | V-O-V | 13 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | [CygaPb] RoadRunner | 12 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Steeno | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Spinney | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [CygaPb] RoadRunner | 1066 | 0.12 | 24 min |
| #2 | V-O-V | 889 | 0.08 | 22 min |
| #3 | TheManInBlack [Gucci] | 670 | 0.07 | 17 min |
| #4 | CommanderCat | 331 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #5 | Nombers | 117 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Babz | +2.65 | 72 | 66 |
| #2 | [CygaPb] RoadRunner | +1.60 | 71 | 68 |
| #3 | Meijoo | +0.37 | 65 | 68 |
| #4 | Meijo | +0.10 | 67 | 74 |
| #5 | Spinney | -0.64 | 37 | 64 |





