








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 567 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 505 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,922 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5526 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5759 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4996 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5641 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,540,311 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 221 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meijo | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | CommanderCat | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | TheManInBlack [Gucci] | 49% | 319 |
| #4 | Babz | 49% | 420 |
| #5 | V-O-V | 48% | 386 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Babz | 733 | 0.08 | 20 min |
| #2 | V-O-V | 605 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #3 | TheManInBlack [Gucci] | 469 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #4 | CommanderCat | 147 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #5 | Nombers | 71 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Babz | +2.44 | 71 | 67 |
| #2 | [CygaPb] RoadRunner | +1.44 | 71 | 68 |
| #3 | Meijo | +0.35 | 67 | 76 |
| #4 | TheManInBlack [Gucci] | -1.37 | 50 | 73 |
| #5 | V-O-V | -1.55 | 44 | 62 |





