








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 395 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3805 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,518 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4018 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4658 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5923 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4919 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,497,825 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 314 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meijo | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | Spinney | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | CommanderCat | 51% | 51 |
| #4 | Babz | 50% | 439 |
| #5 | [CygaPb] RoadRunner | 49% | 319 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Babz | 50% | 439 |
| #5 | [CygaPb] RoadRunner | 49% | 319 |
| #6 | V-O-V | 49% | 419 |
| #7 | Steeno | 47% | 251 |
| #8 | Nombers | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | V-O-V | 12 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | [CygaPb] RoadRunner | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Babz | 9 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Steeno | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | CommanderCat | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [CygaPb] RoadRunner | 833 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #2 | Babz | 761 | 0.08 | 20 min |
| #3 | V-O-V | 666 | 0.07 | 16 min |
| #4 | CommanderCat | 223 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #5 | Steeno | 82 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Babz | +2.78 | 72 | 67 |
| #2 | [CygaPb] RoadRunner | +1.57 | 71 | 69 |
| #3 | Meijo | +0.36 | 66 | 73 |
| #4 | Spinney | -0.10 | 36 | 63 |
| #5 | TheManInBlack [Gucci] | -1.10 | 52 | 72 |





