








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 292 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1957 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,819 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 622 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2176 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1782 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1239 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,965,599 of utility $257 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 658 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [CygaPb] RoadRunner | 48% | 209 |
| #2 | Spinney | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | TheManInBlack [Gucci] | 47% | 251 |
| #4 | Babz | 47% | 333 |
| #5 | V-O-V | 45% | 320 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Babz | 47% | 333 |
| #5 | V-O-V | 45% | 320 |
| #6 | CommanderCat | 42% | 24 |
| #7 | Meijo | 36% | 22 |
| #8 | Nombers | 36% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheManInBlack [Gucci] | 12 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Babz | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | V-O-V | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | [CygaPb] RoadRunner | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | CommanderCat | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Babz | 586 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #2 | [CygaPb] RoadRunner | 566 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | V-O-V | 506 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #4 | TheManInBlack [Gucci] | 418 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #5 | CommanderCat | 104 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Babz | +3.00 | 72 | 66 |
| #2 | [CygaPb] RoadRunner | +1.74 | 70 | 70 |
| #3 | Meijo | -0.64 | 69 | 72 |
| #4 | TheManInBlack [Gucci] | -0.78 | 51 | 73 |
| #5 | Spinney | -1.34 | 34 | 62 |





