








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 334 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 80 matches | ||
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2904 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,429 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2605 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2195 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1472 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2157 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $896,272 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sensaw0w | 9 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | Seasick | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | MikeyyM | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | CADZOR | 4 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | RelayP | 3 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seasick | 461 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #2 | MikeyyM | 407 | 0.33 | 13 min |
| #3 | weSs+ | 338 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #4 | Sensaw0w | 287 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | CADZOR | 112 | 0.20 | 2 min |





