








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1058 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 306 matches | ||
| Premier | 285 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,174 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7712 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3985 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4357 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4120 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,609,717 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 528 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bolt | 56% | 70 |
| #2 | CADZOR | 55% | 62 |
| #3 | RelayP | 55% | 150 |
| #4 | Sensaw0w | 54% | 392 |
| #5 | wiert | 54% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | wiert | 54% | 63 |
| #6 | MikeyyM | 53% | 428 |
| #7 | BrenDINGELING | 52% | 122 |
| #8 | hENDRUCK- | 45% | 71 |
| #9 | kiet | 43% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sensaw0w | 22 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | MikeyyM | 17 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | CADZOR | 10 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | RelayP | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | kiet | 5 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MikeyyM | 2132 | 0.23 | 62 min |
| #2 | Sensaw0w | 1102 | 0.13 | 33 min |
| #3 | Bolt | 379 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #4 | CADZOR | 321 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #5 | hENDRUCK- | 298 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CADZOR | +1.82 | 93 | 70 |
| #2 | weSs+ | +1.44 | 85 | 62 |
| #3 | Bolt | +0.58 | 83 | 68 |
| #4 | RelayP | +0.18 | 76 | 60 |
| #5 | MikeyyM | +0.12 | 73 | 65 |





