








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 297 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 416 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6817 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,283 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4053 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4410 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5213 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4607 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,634,277 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SN3XAS | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | ♠Gl1̡͢t́͟c̷h͠͡♠ | 9 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | Señor VAC | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | ♔Golden Gypsy♔ | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | ✪ DiiNNo | 5 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SN3XAS | 314 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | ♔Golden Gypsy♔ | 233 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | Señor VAC | 213 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | cannabis | 116 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪ DiiNNo | 94 | 0.08 | 2 min |





